Girlfriend of 10 months said the spark is gone and we broke up. What do I do?

688 respondents, 35% (240) female, 65% (448) male, avg. age 26

A1 – Bruh, move on! (36.8%)
A2 – Respect her wishes. There’s no way to win 
her back (30.8%)
A3 – Sounds like a bogus reason. Fight to win
her back (18.6%)
A4 – None of the above (11.2%)
A5 – Skipped (2.6%)

Freeform responses
B1 – If you guys are still friends there is a chance you could get back together. But don’t count on it and definitely just try to get over her. 

B2 – Talk about it and figure out why. Then try doing things you’d do in the beginning of the relationship and try fixing problems that may have come up.

B3 – Ask yourself why you didn’t notice?

B4 – Give yourself time as you need to recover from the hurt. Breakups can be very difficult. Try to focus on you until you feel comfortable starting another relationship.

B5 – If already broken up, accept her request. Try and find someone that can go at your pace.

B6 – Go out and get some tail!

B7 – Respect her wishes. Maybe there won’t be a future between you again, maybe there will. But don’t expect anything. Give her some space.

B8 – Give her some dick.

B9 – If you really care about this girl and want to make it work, show her you are willing to put in the work! Relationships are hard and take effort on both sides. Make sure that she is also willing to make time for you! Keep in mind that relationships often lose that “spark” but that is part of a healthy relationship. You can’t stay in the honeymoon phase forever.

B10 – If you love her, let her go. If she comes back it was meant to be. If she doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be.

B11 – Just be a friend and maybe the spark will come back. Or find another girl. Or both, the world is yours.

B12 – Talk to her about what went wrong. If she wont communicate, it’s a tough spot to be in. Best I can say is move on. I got out of a 9 year relationship because I saw how toxic my ex was. Communication is key my friend.

B13 – Depends on the person and the situation.

B14 – Try! If the answer is still no, then stop.

B15 – Respect her wishes, not because you can’t win her back but simply because it’s the adult thing to do.

B16 – Keep trying.

B17 – Depends on the situation. More info is needed.

B18 – Every situation is different.

B19 – Respect her wishes but stay there for her bro. If the spark is truly gone then at the very least you have been a decent person. If it isn’t gone, you’ll be there when she comes back.

B20 – Act like you don’t care if you want her back.

B21 – Get over it. It’s 10 months. Not even a year invested. A lot changes in a few years. You heart may hurt now, but you’ll grow from it. It’s for the best. Love isn’t about a “spark” anyway. Fuck her.

B22 – Ask if there’s any way to attempt to get it back. If yes, go for it. If no, smile and wave.

B23 – Create the spark.

B24 – If the “spark” is gone, she didn’t truly love you to begin with. You deserve someone better. Focus on taking care of yourself and respect her wanting to break up.

B25 – Determine what the cause is and continue accordingly.

B26 – If that’s the case it was not meant to be. It show there was no love, just a connection that seemed like love. Love is a feeling that never leaves, even in the worse time of life.

B27 – Talk to her and ask why she believes the spark is gone, and try to spice things up with something new. Do something spontaneous.

B28 – Try to talk it out.

B29 – Respect her wishes but definitely find out if there was anything you did wrong. Not so you can fix that relationship, or rekindle the spark you lost, but instead so that you can do better next time. A no is a no, so you should back off, but that shouldn’t stop you from figuring out what you could do better. Don’t try to move on too quickly but try to move on. Eventually.

B30 – Bruh, I don’t know why you’re asking us this. This sounds like you need to think about whether you agree with her and maybe try to at least stay friends with her.

B31 – Take a moment and try to figure out how you feel. Do you want to fight for her 1. because you love her 2. it’s more the idea of who you thought she was or 3. you simply just don’t want to be alone? If your answer is anything other than your love for her, then let her alone. If your answer is #1 then by all means but remember that just because you love her it does not guarantee she feels the same. Respect that.

B32 – I find out the underlying truth by waiting it out and gathering facts for later. If I still don’t understand then I ask my smart friends to find out in return for services or trade.

B33 – Oof!

B34 – Ghost her. She may return in time.

B35 – Give some space.

B36 – Shouldn’t have entered into a relationship with that type of person.

B37 – Idfk.

B38 – If you love something, set it free. If it doesn’t return, it was never meant to be. If it does, love it forever!

B39 – Respect yourself… I’m assuming you’re younger. Just know that life moves on, people change, and if it’s that easy for someone to end it, it didn’t mean enough to them in the first place.

B40 – Respect her wishes but definitely mine on and focus on you. Continue to grow and make yourself better.

B41 – Have an honest and open talk about it and see where it goes

B42 – Not enough info. Did she blame you or was she the one who lost interest?

B43 – I’m not sure upon the circumstances of your complete relationship as a whole because I’m neither you nor her, but if you feel as though it could’ve lasted and that she may feel the same way then perhaps both the two of you could work it out again, start fresh maybe? And/or give it time, one of you may tell the other that something feels off without being with you/her.

B44 – Fuck her mom/sister.

B45 – Why is it only your job to keep the spark alive? A relationship is a 2 way street and you get out of it what you put into it.

B46 – Depends how much you care, if you fight for her or let her go.

B47 – Sometimes it’s best to talk things over. Understand her side a bit more. Don’t force her to come back. Respect her wishes and try your best to push forward.

B48 – Stick her hand in an electrical socket and watch the sparks fly!

B49 – If it’s over, it’s over. There’s no fighting. At 10 months there’s probably someone else sparking her.

B50 – Did she tell you why?

B51 – You’ve likely started taking each other for granted. The spark that’s missing, she probably isn’t feeling special anymore. Although if it is happening this fast in a relationship it might be best to move on. Or, you are just too young and are engrossed in your own stuff, too much so to pay attention to her.

B52 – It depends on what’s going on and the reason the sparks are gone. Nobody just says that if you both are too close or not close enough but it’s not worth the fight all the way tho just let her have her way.

B53 – Heartache is the worst, I’m so sorry, but even if you get her back, she wont stay. Start the healing process now. Don’t prolong it.

B54 – If it’s a relationship built only on the spark and not the little things, it won’t work long term. All honey moon stages in relationships end. It’s up to you guys on how you want to define it as it changes.

B55 – Talk to her.

B56 – Agree with her about what she says you did or didn’t do and then act as if it’s no big deal. Tell her in the long run it would be better anyway. Then emphasize the question of her wanting to end it. So for clarification this is,  “Ok cool. Be well!”

B57 – Depends.

B58 – She probably feels like you stopped caring as much and she doesn’t feel anything coming from you so she is giving up. Find more ways to remind her you care and value you guy’s relationship.

B59 – Depends on why you broke up.

B60 – It is what it is. Just flow.

B61 – Honestly, if yall haven’t been enjoying the time you spent with each other like you have been 10 months ago then you should respect that. Otherwise you should ask her is there’s any way to make it up to her to bring back how it felt nearly a year ago.

B62 – The spark has to be maintained. You should try to woo her. If it does not work, she might be interested in someone or something else. I think it is a lame excuse.

B63 – Kill yourself?

B64 – You need to read her emotions. If you still love her, try to keep a friendly relationship and progress to a romantic one again. However, if you can tell she’s not interested don’t try to “win her back” because it’ll only lead to heartbreak and make her uncomfortable.

B65 – Sit down face to face and find out what the real issue is. Or make sure she knows you can bring that spark back and ask her how to bring it.

B66 – You should tell her that it’s fine and say I am still here.

B67 – I would take a step back and asses the situation. Take note of what you’re looking for: do you want a potential spouse or just some fun? Also, what are some features/qualities you would like your girl to have? Look for someone who meets your standards (and be someone who meets theirs) and be willing to admit when someone doesn’t.

B68 – Respect her wishes but don’t give up on it.

B69 – She showed you who she is. Move on.

B70 – Idk.

B71 – Every time I’ve seen or heard that line used, it was usually because they found someone else.

B72 – She may be doing you a favor. “Thank God for unanswered prayers.”

B73 – You should try to respect her wish but if you still care, talk to her and tell her how you feel and see if it’s worth saving. 

B74 – If you want to try and make it work, fight for her. If you agree. Then let her go.

B75 – Sometimes these things just…happen. I went through something similar once. I’d try to just take some time away from her and focus on yourself to move on. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. If not, you’ll find happiness elsewhere.

B76 – Bruh, move on was closer to what I’d say, but not quite. She may have felt the ‘spark’ leave, but that’s not really how relationships work to me. It takes 2 people to make it work, and it sounds like she doesn’t want it to work, or has some romanticized ideas on relationships and will end up disappointed and having to ‘settle’ later on in life. Basically, Bruh. Move on. There’s nothing you can do to win her back, she doesn’t deserve to have you fight for her if she’s not willing to do the same for you.

B77 – Hasn’t been a long relationship so maybe maintain a friendship but start to move on, don’t try for something when there’s no future to it, just wasting time at that point.